


Proper Food for Proper Fun...

by Mersheeple



Series: Hearts&Cauldrons Prompts [41]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Apprenticeships, F/M, House Elves, Humour, Post-War, Severus Snape Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25571260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mersheeple/pseuds/Mersheeple
Summary: After the end of the War, things began to change at Hogwarts. The changes were subtle at first. The castle began to heal...then more things began to change...weird things...
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Series: Hearts&Cauldrons Prompts [41]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805746
Comments: 13
Kudos: 63





	Proper Food for Proper Fun...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [misspeaches](https://archiveofourown.org/users/misspeaches/gifts).



> Thank you Peaches for the lovely prompt on the 27th of July. I have no idea if this answers the prompt but this is what ya get! hahaha

After the end of the War, things began to change at Hogwarts. The changes were subtle at first. The castle began to heal, moving things around that had remained in the same place since its conception.

Every floor of the castle now had student bathrooms, always with at least two shower cubicles to one side. People were having horrendous flashbacks and occasionally would sweat through their uniforms from fear. The showers were a necessary adjustment and the students, and occasionally the teachers, were thankful for them.

Then came the gardens. They randomly appeared in old alcoves that were too dark to make most people comfortable. Places that people had once used to hide from the War and the enormity of their own responsibilities were now filled with stunning arrays of plants; some that phosphoresced and lit up the darkened areas with shining, shimmering lights, some that made soft and soothing white noise when touched, and some that were so soft to the touch that they easily relaxed people. These sensory gardens were perfect for those who suffered from over-stimulation.

The next big change was the movement of the Common Rooms. Those had shocked many people but, once they had been moved, it made sense. Although the four Houses were still separate, the Common Rooms were all accessible from a set of four portraits on the first floor. No passwords were necessary, for the portraits were imbued with the same magic as the Sorting Hat and knew which House someone was in. All the portraits could be opened at one time but people could only enter if they were in the House whose portrait they were approaching.

Then the stranger things had begun to change and people had begun to protest. The classrooms would move to different places depending on some arbitrary scale of how much the castle liked the teachers. The most well-liked teachers had classrooms with pretty views, which caught the sun all day. The most disliked teachers got moved to overlook the less liked places, or often, moved into the dungeons.

The only person whose classroom never moved was Severus Snape. It wasn’t that the castle disliked him though. It was that he _respected_ the castle. So, when the castle wanted the door to the dungeons to be high up in the school, the room itself was unmoved. He maintained a cool classroom and none of his ingredients were liable to spontaneously combust.

The worst change came in the kitchens. There were many displaced House Elves who had come from Pureblood homes that had fallen during the War and there were regularly issues with the food they provided. The first day of term was always time for an exquisite feast. After that, however, it had gone downhill rapidly.

The second night of term they almost always had Shepherd’s pie. Except this term. The castle had provided them with Foie Gras on a bed of saffron rice with a white truffle sauce. Most of the students had gone to bed hungry, and the staff had complained to Minerva who had spoken to the House Elves.

The next night, dinner had been a lamb and vegetable consommé. Minerva had spoken to the House Elves again. Severus had chuckled and been glad that he had found more than a few snacks in his desk drawer thanks to the castle.

Things had progressively got worse. Dinners had become as unfulfilling as it was possible for them to be, consisting of strangely small dishes of charred leeks with anchovy dressing, turnip tartiflette, confit of salmon with new potato and crab crush or twice cooked pork belly with an onion and apple velouté. The desserts were also disappointingly small, usually things like balsamic blueberries with vanilla sorbet, mille feuille or, disappointingly enormous like croquembouche, which had left them with a disastrous mess and some very unhappy students and House Elves alike.

Severus Snape hated the posh pretentious foods that the House Elves were now producing but, after complaining aloud the first time, when the House Elves had served some form of chargrilled tentacle with lychees and some sort of strange sauce, he now regularly found small snacks, cakes, biscuits and crisps in his desk drawer in his Potions classroom. He wished, of course, that it was something more substantial, perhaps a sandwich or a nice greasy fry up. He would even accept something vegetarian if it were edible. He didn’t care. He just wanted something better than the pretentious rubbish he was having to force down every night.

He entered his classroom from the Great Hall slightly earlier than usual. The castle had helped him get there faster by putting the entrance to his classroom door in the teacher’s corridor behind the Great Hall. As he entered his room, something caught his eye, a flash of movement. Someone was disillusioned in the corner of his room. He paused, waiting to see if the person would move again, betraying their position as so many students did when trying out the Disillusionment charm. There was no movement. Hmm…not a student then?

“You have five seconds to show yourself before I blast you to kingdom come.” He spoke softly, with deadly menace until he heard a quiet huff and watched the ripple of magic as the Disillusionment Charm was cancelled.

“Really, Professor Snape? Blast me to Kingdom come? Is that truly necessary?” The voice was none other than Hermione Granger, Arithmancy Apprentice, and he smirked at her.

“Perhaps not necessary Miss Granger, but worth it. And it worked didn’t it?” He smirked at her and raised an eyebrow, secretly delighting in the way she tossed her head and laughed at him.

“I suppose it did, Professor Snape.” She smiled at him and he nodded an acknowledgement.

“So, what brings you to my humble abode Miss Granger?” He raised his eyebrow, wondering what would bring the prettiest member of almost-staff into his classroom, disillusioned as she had been.

“Would you believe I was waiting for you? I was wondering if you might like to have tea and discuss my final project for my Mastery.” She smiled and her eyes flicked nervously to his desk before looking back at him. He frowned but nodded, waving her through into his chambers in silence before he looked in the drawer of his desk, finding a wrapped burrito sitting next to a packet of chocolate coated hobnobs. He groaned softly and picked up the Burrito, happily breaking the stasis charm and lifting the biscuits out. He entered his suite, grunting her name and tossing her the biscuits before he sat in his chair, unwrapped the heavily laden Mexican dish, and took a bite, groaning happily.

“Finally, some good fucking food!” He mumbled, his mouth full of the meat and salad and cheese all wrapped in a deliciously toasted tortilla. Hermione smiled, her eyes dancing as she poured them tea from the service that had appeared as soon as she had sat down.

“Still having trouble with the House Elves?” She smirked at him as he groaned throatily in a way that warmed her loins and made her squirm on her chair. He swallowed loudly and then caught her eye.

“They are more insufferable than anyone I have ever known. But somehow, I still get snacks left in my drawers so I can’t complain too much. They haven’t yet put my favourites in the drawer yet but, well, most wizards don’t really eat Walker’s Salt and Vinegar crisps, do they?” He smirked slightly and she laughed, shaking her head.

“So, what is this project you want to discuss Miss Granger?” And she was off, talking about Arithmancy charts and potion ingredients and…all manner of genius things that filled him with warmth. And he knew he couldn’t blame that on the Burrito.

They talked long into the night and she showed him her calculations and he showed her how to input things that she had never heard of as variables for ingredients. He was impressed. She loved talking to him. All in all, it was almost perfect. They arranged to meet the next night so that she wouldn’t have to disillusion herself and he found himself fully looking forward to a night with her.

She was waiting for him the next night with her charts and her enthusiasm, her hair tied back and a smile on her lips. He went straight for the drawer of his desk and groaned in pleasure as he saw a packet of Salt and Vinegar crisps waiting for him. He lifted them out reverently and didn’t even look at her as he noticed a piece of parchment in the drawer. In her very neat and precise writing, writing he had seen a thousand times over, was a very short note. Once he had read it, the crisps dropped to the floor and he ran into his chambers, the drawer still open with the note easily visible should anyone manage to break through his hastily thrown up wards.

**_I started leaving you food when I noticed you weren’t eating properly. I hope you have enjoyed your proper fucking food. Now instead, how about a proper fucking?_ **


End file.
